I shouldn't do this.
Write these words, I mean.
Words that expose my soul
Bare my erotic attraction
And betray my emotions
To a woman who consciously
May not have asked for any of it
Simply and hopelessly
Guilty only of a harmless flirtation
The morning after a prophetic erotic dream
That apparently surprised and excited you.
But my soul is pure.
And my emotions for you untainted
by anything known to men.
The gods compel me to try to please you.
Having no choice, I obey.
Lest the gods frown on one of their own.
But I am confused by what the gods have wrought.
They have blessed me with beautiful images and
Exquisite fantasies.
Of You.
And cursed me with an outrageously beautiful view
From a precipice
Higher than any they have
Fashioned for me before.
I want to please you
In every possible way.
Not only of the flesh
But of everything you are.
And can be.
I want to create a symphony of
Sound
With words no one else can hear
A sound conceived for no one but
You and Me.
I want to create a safe place
Inside us and between us in full view
Of the world
Where our souls can meet.
Touch.
Caress.
Or do whatever your soul desires.
And no one would know.
Unless you desired it.
Or required it.
I want to please you
Where you have never been pleased
Before.
I want to touch you in sacred places
Of your psyche.
And virgin places of your soul.
I want to hold you
And feel you wax warm and safe
In my arms.
I want to look into your eyes
And escape inside you to sing a song from my youth.
A prophecy from Rogers and Hammerstein
That only you would hear.
"I have dreamed that your arms are lovely.
I have dreamed what a joy you'd be.
I have dreamed every word you'll whisper
When you're close, close to me.
How you look in the glow of evening.
I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.
In these dreams I loved you so.
That by now I think I know
What it's like, to be loved by you.
I would love, being loved by you."
"You're in my dreams and in my life!"
A quote.
Your words.
Remember?
Going in opposite directions and
Meeting at every turn?
Had the fates started a new chapter?
Or some other entity, a new experiment?
With you and me as subjects?
Scary.
'Cause I didn't know how to respond.
Or what to say.
Perhaps I should say something
Dumb.
"I'm not in your life, yet"
Another quote.
My words.
Embarrassing.
'Cause I had responded badly to an unexpected cue?
So I escaped without saying goodbye.
But you were in my head again.
And I didn't want to do anything
About it.
Except wait for the party
And wonder if we could make
Your erotic dream come true.
(Or even if you wanted to)
In a room I could not find
Or we could go to
Safely.
But I did find you.
Beautiful.
Delightful.
And clothed with a radiance
That couldn't have been as brilliant
As I saw.
You let me hold you.
To dance.
And when you held me I felt music.
Not the music we danced to.
It clanged badly off key
In comparison to
The music that came from
What must have been your soul.
An adagio of the sweetest sound
My own soul had ever heard.
Making me feel something
That had to be repressed.
And know the pain that
Repression demands.
But how can I speak of souls
Touching
When our eyes have barely met?
And caressing you was not an option?
I should dismiss you, of course.
Like I did when you were in my head once before.
At a time you never knew.
I struggled to get you out.
And cursed at my success.
This time I'll let you stay.
And cherish any and all of the pleasures
You give me while you are here.
In this place in my head where you may or may not belong.
Barely more than an erotic memory of a failed erotic dream.
At least for now.
In a pink dress, this time.
My last view of a perfectly framed body
That could make evil men weep
And holy men swear.
Me?
I will weep and swear.
Behind a smile.
For I am both.
Evil and Holy.
But not scary.
Another gift of the gods
To one of their own.
I try not to think of that.
Of your body, I mean.
Your persona intoxicates me.
But your body makes me drunk.
For you are Beautiful O Daughter Of Paradise.
Blessed by your creator
As He had blessed and graced few
Others of your fair gender.
I want to lie down beside you
And feel you anticipating heaven
Even as you live.
I want to look into your eyes
And slip inside your pulsating body
As I bask in the warm moist glow of
Your naked flesh.
Even as you call on God
And scream my name and
Other erotic obscene things.
Most of all I want
To feel you inside me
Touching virgin places of my psyche
And sacred places in my soul.
But if none of this comes to past
And I am left to my own devices
I will leap from
Your Beautiful Precipice
Drink in last glimpses of You
In my rapid descent
Watch erotic dreams and fantasies Die
In My crash.
Arise Quickly.
Forget I ever wrote this.
And appreciate forever
What joy and pleasure
This infant prelude
Has already given me.
